Wednesday, August 15, 2012

Clerk inerview -2


1.0    Interview Questions

Why do you want to enter banking?
> You need to talk about Banking – what the interviewer seeks for is a person who is flexible to be along with the given timings, someone who can cope up with writing bits and bobs or a person who can benefit them with more development .Your answer can have following bulleted points.
  • Banking is a fast changing environment
  • Retail banking is now very competitive – from telephone banking, retailers and etc Banking is thus now largely sales driven.
# You can even talk about IT getting changes and clearing banks offers a wide range of career opportunities for graduates – not just in branch banking but also in financial services, consultancy and corporate banking.
Have you applied to any other areas apart from banking?

Here off course your answer will hold some other finance or sales and marketing careers – insurance or accountancy, altogether these careers should have skills related to banking.
How do you feel about committing yourself to another three years of exams?

The professional examinations that you will almost certainly be required to take as part of your training are not always difficult in themselves, but do require determination and focus- especially as much of your study will be done in the evenings after a hard days work.
You should also be aware of the range of qualifications open to you – many of the large clearing banks offer the opportunity to gain qualifications in marketing, personnel or accountancy – not just banking.
Tell me about an experience in which you had to use tact?
Tact and diplomacy are important qualities in retail banking – the customer is (almost!) always right. You may have to tell an account holder diplomatically why they can’t have a loan for example, without provoking them into moving their account elsewhere.
To answer this type of question, think through everything you have done in the last five years – school, university, sports, clubs, societies, travel, vacation jobs etc. and try to think of situations where you had to demonstrate this and other qualities – do this before your interview.
If you have completed a number of employer application forms, then you should already have done this as this type of question is now common on application forms.
Who are our major competitors and what differences do you notice in our products?
The company will be expecting that you have done your research on the industry generally. You should be familiar with the bank’s products and services – literature on these can be picked up at any branch. Read the banks brochures and annual reports – these may be in the careers information room.
Be aware of current trends in the market and try to find out what each bank is doing in these areas.
What is SLR?
Every bank is required to maintain at the close of business every day, a minimum proportion of their Net Demand and Time Liabilities as liquid assets in the form of cash, gold and un-encumbered approved securities. The ratio of liquid assets to demand and time liabilities is known as Statutory Liquidity Ratio (SLR). Present SLR is 24%. (reduced w.e.f. 8/11/208, from earlier 25%) RBI is empowered to increase this ratio up to 40%. An increase in SLR also restrict the bank’s leverage position to pump more money into the economy.
What is SLR ? (For Non Bankers)
SLR stands for Statutory Liquidity Ratio. This term is used by bankers and indicates the minimum percentage of deposits that the bank has to maintain in form of gold, cash or other approved securities. Thus, we can say that it is ratio of cash and some other approved to liabilities (deposits) It regulates the credit growth in India.
What are Repo rate and Reverse Repo rate?
Repo (Repurchase) rate is the rate at which the RBI lends shot-term money to the banks. When the repo rate increases borrowing from RBI becomes more expensive. Therefore, we can say that in case, RBI wants to make it more expensive for the banks to borrow money, it increases the repo rate; similarly, if it wants to make it cheaper for banks to borrow money, it reduces the repo rate
What are Repo rate and Reverse Repo rate?
Repo (Repurchase) rate is the rate at which the RBI lends shot-term money to the banks. When the repo rate increases borrowing from RBI becomes more expensive. Therefore, we can say that in case, RBI wants to make it more expensive for the banks to borrow money, it increases the repo rate; similarly, if it wants to make it cheaper for banks to borrow money, it reduces the repo rate
Thus, we can conclude that Repo Rate signifies the rate at which liquidity is injected in the banking system by RBI, whereas Reverse repo rate signifies the rate at which the central bank absorbs liquidity from the banks.
What is the difference between Bank Rate and Repo Rate?
Bank Rate vs Repo Rate
Bank Rate is the rate at which RBI allows finance to commercial banks in India. There are difference types of refinance that can be availed by banks and these are linked to Bank Rate. Thus, banks can borrow at this rate only to the extent of their eligibility for refinance.
On the other hand, Repo is a money market instrument, which enables collateralised short term borrowing and lending through sale/purchase operations in debt instruments. Under a repo transaction, a holder of securities sells them to an investor with an agreement to repurchase at a predetermined date and rate. In the case of a repo, the forward clean price of the bonds is set in advance at a level which is different from the spot clean price by adjusting the difference between repo interest and coupon earned on the security. In the money market, this transaction is nothing but collateralised lending as the terms of the transaction are structured to compensate for the funds lent and the cost of the transaction is the repo rate. Thus, a bank can borrow under repo provided he has the extra securities which it can lend temporarily to RBI for borrowing short term funds.
What is relation between Inflation and Bank interest Rates?
Now a days, you might have heard lot of these terms and usage on inflation and the bank interest rates. Bank interest rate depends on many other factors, out of that the major one is inflation. Whenever you see an increase on inflation, there will be an increase of interest rate also
What is a bank?
A bank is a financial institution whose primary activity is to act as a payment agent for customers and to borrow and lend money. It is an institution for receiving, keeping, and lending money

What is the activity of Banks?
Banks act as payment agents by conducting checking or current accounts for customers, paying cheques drawn by customers on the bank, and collecting cheques deposited to customers’ current accounts. Banks also enable customer payments via other payment methods such as telegraphic transfer, EFTPOS, and ATM.
Banks borrow money by accepting funds deposited on current account, accepting term deposits and by issuing debt securities such as banknotes and bonds. Banks lend money by making advances to customers on current account, by making installment loans, and by investing in marketable debt securities and other forms of money lending.
Banks provide almost all payment services, and a bank account is considered indispensable by most businesses, individuals and governments. Non-banks that provide payment services such as remittance companies are not normally considered an adequate substitute for having a bank account.
Banks borrow most funds from households and non-financial businesses, and lend most funds to households and non-financial businesses, but non-bank lenders provide a significant and in many cases adequate substitute for bank loans, and money market funds, cash management trusts and other non-bank financial institutions in many cases provide an adequate substitute to banks for lending savings to.
What is Banking Business?
“Banking Business” means the business of receiving money on current or deposit account, paying and collecting cheques drawn by or paid in by customers, the making of advances to customers, and includes such other business as the Authority may prescribe for the purposes of this Act.
What is Accounting for Bank Accounts?
Bank statements are accounting records produced by banks under the various accounting standards of the world. Under GAAP and IFRS there are two kinds of accounts: debit and credit. Credit accounts are Revenue, Equity and Liabilities. Debit Accounts are Assets and Expenses. This means you credit credit accounts to increase their balances and you debit debit accounts to increase their balances.
This also means you debit your savings account every time you deposit money into it (and the account is normally in deficit) and you credit your credit card account every time you spend money from it (and the account is normally in credit).
However, if you read your bank statement, it will say the opposite- that you have credited your account when you deposit money, and you debit when you withdraw it. If you have cash in your account you have a positive or credit balance and if you are overdrawn it will say you have a negative or a deficit balance.
The reason for this is because the bank, and not you, has produced the bank statement. Your savings might be your assets, but it is the bank’s liability, so your savings account is a liability account which is a credit account and should have a positive credit balance. Your loans are your liabilities but the bank’s assets so they are debit accounts which should have a negative balance.
Below where bank transactions, balances, credits and debits are discussed, they are done so from the viewpoint of the account holder which is traditionally what most people are used to seeing.
What are the commercial roles of the Banks ?
However the commercial role of banks is wider than banking, and includes:
  • However the commercial role of banks is wider than banking, and includes:
  • issue of banknotes (promissory notes issued by a banker and payable to bearer on demand)
  • processing of payments by way of telegraphic transfer, EFTPOS, internet banking or other means
  • issuing bank drafts and bank cheques
  • accepting money on term deposit
  • lending money by way of overdraft, installment loan or otherwise
  • providing documentary and standby letters of credit (trade finance), guarantees, performance bonds, securities underwriting commitments and other forms of off balance sheet exposures
  • safekeeping of documents and other items in safe deposit boxes
  • currency exchange
  • sale, distribution or brokerage, with or without advice, of insurance, unit trusts and similar financial products as a ‘financial supermarket’
What are the Economic functions of Banks?
The economic functions of banks include:
1. issue of money, in the form of banknotes and current accounts subject to cheque or payment at the customer’s order. These claims on banks can act as money because they are negotiable and/or repayable on demand, and hence valued at par and effectively transferable by mere delivery in the case of banknotes, or by drawing a cheque, delivering it to the payee to bank or cash.
2. netting and settlement of payments — banks act both as collection agent and paying agents for customers, and participate in inter-bank clearing and settlement systems to collect, present, be presented with, and pay payment instruments. This enables banks to economise on reserves held for settlement of payments, since inward and outward payments offset each other. It also enables payment flows between geographical areas to offset, reducing the cost of settling payments between geographical areas.
3. credit intermediation – banks borrow and lend back-to-back on their own account as middle men
4. credit quality improvement – banks lend money to ordinary commercial and personal borrowers (ordinary credit quality), but are high quality borrowers. The improvement comes from diversification of the bank’s assets and the bank’s own capital which provides a buffer to absorb losses without defaulting on its own obligations. However, since banknotes and deposits are generally unsecured, if the bank gets into difficulty and pledges assets as security to try to get the funding it needs to continue to operate, this puts the note holders and depositors in an economically subordinated position.
5. maturity transformation — banks borrow more on demand debt and short term debt, but provide more long term loans. In other words; banks borrow short and lend long. Bank can do this because they can aggregate issues (e.g. accepting deposits and issuing banknotes) and redemptions (e.g. withdrawals and redemptions of banknotes), maintain reserves of cash, invest in marketable securities that can be readily converted to cash if needed, and raise replacement funding as needed from various sources (e.g. wholesale cash markets and securities markets) because they have a high and more well known credit quality than most other borrowers.

What are the different channels of Banking you use in your daily life ?
Banks offer many different channels to access their banking and other services:
  • A branch, banking centre or financial centre is a retail location where a bank or financial institution offers a wide array of face-to-face service to its customers.
  • ATM is a computerized telecommunications device that provides a financial institution’s customers a method of financial transactions in a public space without the need for a human clerk or bank teller. Most banks now have more ATMs than branches, and ATMs are providing a wider range of services to a wider range of users. For example in Hong Kong, most ATMs enable anyone to deposit cash to any customer of the bank’s account by feeding in the notes and entering the account number to be credited. Also, most ATMs enable card holders from other banks to get their account balance and withdraw cash, even if the card is issued by a foreign bank.
  • Mail is part of the postal system which itself is a system wherein written documents typically enclosed in envelopes, and also small packages containing other matter, are delivered to destinations around the world. This can be used to deposit cheques and to send orders to the bank to pay money to third parties. Banks also normally use mail to deliver periodic account statements to customers.
  • Telephone banking is a service provided by a financial institution which allows its customers to perform transactions over the telephone. This normally includes bill payments for bills from major billers (e.g. for electricity).
  • Online banking is a term used for performing transactions, payments etc. over the Internet through a bank, credit union or building society’s secure website.
How many type of banks there are ?
Banks’ activities can be divided into retail banking, dealing directly with individuals and small businesses; business banking, providing services to mid-market business; corporate banking, directed at large business entities; private banking, providing wealth management services to high net worth individuals and families; and investment banking, relating to activities on the financial markets. Most banks are profit-making, private enterprises. However, some are owned by government, or are non-profits.
Central banks are normally government owned banks, often charged with quasi-regulatory responsibilities, e.g. supervising commercial banks, or controlling the cash interest rate. They generally provide liquidity to the banking system and act as the lender of last resort in event of a crisis.
Type of Retail Banks
  • Commercial bank: the term used for a normal bank to distinguish it from an investment bank. After the Great Depression, the U.S. Congress required that banks only engage in banking activities, whereas investment banks were limited to capital market activities. Since the two no longer have to be under separate ownership, some use the term “commercial bank” to refer to a bank or a division of a bank that mostly deals with deposits and loans from corporations or large businesses.
  • Community Banks: locally operated financial institutions that empower employees to make local decisions to serve their customers and the partners
  • Community development banks: regulated banks that provide financial services and credit to under-served markets or populations.
  • Postal savings banks: savings banks associated with national postal systems.
  • Private banks: manage the assets of high net worth individuals.
  • Offshore banks: banks located in jurisdictions with low taxation and regulation. Many offshore banks are essentially private banks.
  • Savings bank: in Europe, savings banks take their roots in the 19th or sometimes even 18th century. Their original objective was to provide easily accessible savings products to all strata of the population. In some countries, savings banks were created on public initiative, while in others socially committed individuals created foundations to put in place the necessary infrastructure. Nowadays, European savings banks have kept their focus on retail banking: payments, savings products, credits and insurances for individuals or small and medium-sized enterprises. Apart from this retail focus, they also differ from commercial banks by their broadly decentralised distribution network, providing local and regional outreach and by their socially responsible approach to business and society.
  • Building societies and Landesbanks: conduct retail banking.
  • Ethical banks: banks that prioritize the transparency of all operations and make only what they consider to be socially-responsible investments.
  • Islamic banks: Banks that transact according to Islamic principles.


Below are some of the frequently asked questions during an Interview.To answer them, I have provided some tips.
Question : Tell /Describe about yourself ( you will be asked this 90% )
Answer : Don’t recite your resume.Tell about your education, experience, projects worked ,passion etc.,Make sure you complete this within 2-3mins.
Q: Why should we hire you into our organization
A : This would be perfect time to tell about your strengths,achievements & assets. Compare your profile with the job role & justify that you will be a best fit for the job.
Q : What are your strengths & weakness ?
A: Again this is also a commonly asked question to test how much you know of yourself.Make sure the Strengths you say have some relation to the job you applied.’I am very good in english’ can be said as ‘I have good communication skills’ ,
Weakness – ‘I don’t have any weakness’ means you are not ready to talk about it.Similarly don’t say something like, ‘Im short tempered & get angry very soon’ – It gives an impression that you are not fit to work in group.Say something which does not affect the working & also describe about the steps taken to overcome that.
Q: Where do you see yourself after 5 years ?
A: This question would be asked to check how much you know about the career path.
‘After 5 years,I want to be in your seat’ wont work in any case.Think realistically, understand the growth opportunities of that job & put it across to them.
Q : Why are you shifting from your current employer/company (for experienced people)
A : This would be a tricky question & you have to answer by choosing proper words.Give the real reason, but make sure you don’t put the blame on your previous company nor onto yourself.
These are just few questions that can be asked during an Interview ,but the list is exhaustive.So be prepared to answer any question with confidence.But ,
Never ever get tensed . It pulls your confidence down & will throw you out of the competition.

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1)      What do you know about our Bank?
2) What is the difference between debit card and credit card?
3) What is the difference between draft and cheque?
4) Tell me about yourself?
5) Why do you want to join our bank?
6) Tell me something about RBI?
7) Advantages of nationalization of bank.
8) Address of SBI Corporate office.
9) What do you understand by core banking?
10) What do you mean by CRR, SLR, and Repo rate?
11) What do you understand by inflation?
12) Meaning of terms liquidity, excise duty, currency etc.
These were the common questions asked to me in the interview. I hope these questions are going to help you all in your interview. Very soon in my next post I will be giving answers of these questions.



Here are some sample question which are frequently asked by interviewer
  1. tell us about yourself?
  2. tell us about your family?
  3. last 30 days current affairs?
  4. last 5 days newspaper?
  5. what is bank?
  6. why would you want to go in the bank?
  7. several types of bank?
  8. crr 'slr' repo rate' reverse repo rate'
and some questions from your academic session.Here is a link which may be useful for you

SBI Clerk interview Question


SBI Clerk interview Question: taken from Web itself , you may Need to use your mind sometime.


Had my interview in banglore for syndicate on 16 march 2012

tell me abt ur self
as am working in sbi as clerk asked me why i wanna leave sbi
then if u clear jaiib and caiib u can get po there itself
what am doing there
what is base rate?
whats the purpose of giving loans?
what is retail credit?what r the products of retail credit?
finnancial inclusion?
what is dri?
on what basis give loans?
have u heard about cibil?
what is percentage of gold loan?
what is business of ur branch and profit for last year?
westrn union?
family backgroud
it lasted around 15 min



I read sujana interviews question.I am also working at SBI.My sbi interview held on 17th mar.The question they asked were

1. tell me something about yourself.
2.why there is a gap after your graduation?
3.when was your branched establised?what are the the business of your branch?
4.what are the jobs you performs?
5.How many people are working at your branch?
6.Difference between cc and od account.
7.what are stock statements?
8.how is cc provided?
9.how to sanction loan?
10.are you persuing jiiband ciib?
11.what are the main activities of people in that areas.
that all a request if possible can you(sujana)the answer of your question I would highly appreciate your effort but if you feel bad please forget and forgive.


Questions asked:
panel head asked:

-cut off for previous shortlists (I dint got selected in any bfore.)
-difference between banking n finance (told)
-Difference between micro financial institutions and NBFCs. (told)
-Diff. between Co-operative societies and SHGs.(told)
-Accounting practices in banks (kindly ans. anyone)
-debt equity structure of a company to be considered by bank for loaning (ans. pls)
-whts working capital? (told)
-are preferential shares r counted as equity? (told)
-wht is more beneficial fr a co.: equity or debentures (told)
-and few more question relating to banking n finance. (told many of them)

2nd person asked:
- whts GUI?
-hw would u save a computer during electric storm (ans. pls)
-most preferred computer language in business parlance.(told few)
-name 4 operating system (told)
-name 3 4th gen comp. language (told)
-name 5 lady business personalities (told)
-3 strong points in favour of ur candidature (told)
-wht's guarantee that u'll join bank (told)
-ur 2 weaknesses (told)
and 1 more current question whch i forgot.


Q1. What were you doing since 2010(year of graduation)?
Q2. What is Cloud Computing?
Q3. What this years budget had in store 4 banking sector and effects of tis budget on banking sector?
Q4. What is Inflation? How it is controlled?
Q5. What is HDI(Human Developement Index)?
Q6. How is HDI calculated?
Q7. What is GDP?
Q8. What are Foreign Reserves?
Q9. What types of Loans are provided by Banks?
Q10. What are your strength and weakness?



Notes:

Important definitions helpful in bank interview preparation:-
Hi friends,
Here I am posting for you some important banking terminology that will helpful in your bank interview preparation. I hope it will clear all your doubts regarding different bank rates.

REPO RATE: - Under repo transaction the borrower places with the lender certain acceptable securities against funds received and agree to reverse this transaction on a predetermined future date at agreed interest cost. Repo rate is also called (repurchase agreement or repurchase option).

REVERSE REPO RATE: - is the interest rate earned by the bank for lending money to the RBI in exchange of govt. securities or "lender buys securities with agreement to sell them back at a predetermined rate".

CASH RESERVE RATIO: - specifies the percentage of their total deposits the commercial bank must keep with central bank or RBI. Higher the CRR lower will be the capacity of bank to create credit.

SLR: - known as Statutorily Liquidity Ratio. Each bank is required statutorily maintain a prescribed minimum proportion of its demand and time liabilities in the form of designated liquid asset.
OR
"Every bank has to maintain a percentage of its demand and time liabilities by way of cash, gold etc".

BANK RATE: - is the rate of interest which is charged by RBI on its advances to commercial banks. When reserve bank desires to restrict expansion of credit it raises the bank rate there by making the credit costlier to commercial bank.

OVERDRAFT:- It is the loan facility on customer current account at a bank permitting him to overdraw up to a certain agreed limit for a agreed period ,interest is payable only on the amount of loan taken up.

PRIME LENDING RATE: It is the rate at which commercial banks give loan to its prime customers.


Monday, July 23, 2012

HDFC credit Card PIN

Hello,

Recently happened to get Credit Card from HDFC (not used so far, so will update later about its services). Called Customer care from HDFC,  20 66034332

She informed, PIN will be sent by postal mail at Billing Address.

Cheers :)
Vivek 

Tuesday, July 10, 2012

Learn English in easy Way!

Friends

English is very Common Language.

Sharing the Basic Steps to learn it.

1) Get Vocabulary.
2) Practise them in Your Sentences.
3) Here are some structure which you can use to make Sentences.

A) Affirmative: Subject + Helping Verb +  main Verb + Object + Other Things/Words
 Example: I can Do it.


B) Negative: Subject + Helping Verb +  not + main Verb + Object + Other Things/Words

 Example: I can not Do it.

Friday, June 15, 2012

InterNet Explorer Private Browsing Helps!

InterNet Explorer Private Browsing Helps!

All previous stored passwords are not used, It prompts you to enter new password.

Internet Explorer sometime makes you sick by its settings. :)


Monday, June 11, 2012

Commerce Colleges In Pune MH.

Friends

 Writing the details I have got during admission of my younger Brother for B.Com in Pune Colleges.

1) Poona college of Arts Science  commerce, Pune, Maharashtra
Affiliated To : University of Pune
Established In : 1970

No entrance exam taken.

Address:
Camp , Pune - 411 001 Maharashtra, INDIA.
Ph :  020-26454240 called / 26446319
Fax : 020-26453707
 

 
2)   Brihan Maharashtra College of Commerce (BMCC) , Pune, Maharashtra
       Affiliated To : University of Pune
        Established In : 1943
 Address:
845,  Shivajinagar, Pune 411004. Maharashtra. India.
Phone: +91 20 6686 6200

 Fax: +91 20 6686 6222

BMCC merit list coming on 16th June 2012.

For any Queries please contact us on :     Dy. Registrar,
 Academic Section,
 University of Pune,
 Ganeshkhind, Pune 411007.
     Phone Nos :  2560 1257/1259      Email : cet@unipune.ac.in

Note: This should be your priority for Admission 


3)   Indira college


fill form by 13th June 2012 . on 14 June 2012 merit list will come



Contact :
Dr. Mrs. Anjali Kalkar
Phone : 020-66759507/ 020-66759515 / 020-66759637
Email : anjali.kalkar@iccs.ac.in

fees: For MH students : 10000 Rs per year.
        For Outside  MH students : 13000 Rs per year.


4) DY PATIL college Pimpari  -


Contact Details

Address: Pimpri Pune-411018.
Phone: 27421095/ 96 /97    27424194  - Open on saturday as well till 4PM
Fax: (020) 27420711
Website: www.dypacs.com

5)  Sir Parshurambhau College (S.P. College)


Address:
Tilak Road, S P College,Pune, 411030
Phone Number:
+91-20-24336572 (None Picked) , +91-20-24331978, +91-20-24331928, +91

Note:  
 F.Y.B.Com.
Only those students who have passed 12th Commerce from S. P. College can be accommodated in S.P. College for F.Y.B.Com admissions. Outsiders cannot be considered for this purpose.


6)
St. Vincent College of Commerce,
2004, St. Vincent Street, Camp, Pune - 411 001   Tel: (020) 26351162


Address: 19, V. K. Jog Path, Near Pune Railway Station, Pin - 411001 City: Pune State: Maharashtra  Telephone Number: +91 - 020 - 26127024

 

Saturday, March 31, 2012

Communicate: Improve Your Relationships With Effective Communication Skills

Conflict in a relationship is virtually inevitable. In itself, conflict isn’t a problem; how it’s handled, however, can bring people together or tear them apart. Poor communication skills, disagreements and misunderstandings can be a source of anger and distance, or a springboard to a stronger relationship and happier future. Next time you’re dealing with conflict, keep these tips on effective communication skills in mind and you can create a more positive outcome.


Here's How:

Stay Focused: Sometimes it’s tempting to bring up past seemingly related conflicts when dealing with current ones. Unfortunately, this often clouds the issue and makes finding mutual understanding and a solution to the current issue less likely, and makes the whole discussion more taxing and even confusing. Try not to bring up past hurts or other topics. Stay focused on the present, your feelings, understanding one another and finding a solution.

1. Listen Carefully: People often think they’re listening, but are really thinking about what they’re going to say next when the other person stops talking. Truly effective communication goes both ways. While it might be difficult, try really listening to what your partner is saying. Don’t interrupt. Don’t get defensive. Just hear them and reflect back what they’re saying so they know you’ve heard. Then you’ll understand them better and they’ll be more willing to listen to you.

2. Try To See Their Point of View: In a conflict, most of us primarily want to feel heard and understood. We talk a lot about our point of view to get the other person to see things our way. Ironically, if we all do this all the time, there’s little focus on the other person’s point of view, and nobody feels understood. Try to really see the other side, and then you can better explain yours. (If you don't 'get it', ask more questions until you do.) Others will more likely be willing to listen if they feel heard.

3. Respond to Criticism with Empathy: When someone comes at you with criticism, it’s easy to feel that they’re wrong, and get defensive. While criticism is hard to hear, and often exaggerated or colored by the other person’s emotions, it’s important to listen for the other person’s pain and respond with empathy for their feelings. Also, look for what’s true in what they’re saying; that can be valuable information for you.

4. Own What’s Yours: Realize that personal responsibility is a strength, not a weakness. Effective communication involves admitting when you’re wrong. If you both share some responsibility in a conflict (which is usually the case), look for and admit to what’s yours. It diffuses the situation, sets a good example, and shows maturity. It also often inspires the other person to respond in kind, leading you both closer to mutual understanding and a solution.

5. Use “I” Messages: Rather than saying things like, “You really messed up here,” begin statements with “I”, and make them about yourself and your feelings, like, “I feel frustrated when this happens.” It’s less accusatory, sparks less defensiveness, and helps the other person understand your point of view rather than feeling attacked.

6. Look for Compromise Instead of trying to ‘win’ the argument, look for solutions that meet everybody’s needs. Either through compromise, or a new solution that gives you both what you want most, this focus is much more effective than one person getting what they want at the other’s expense. Healthy communication involves finding a resolution that both sides can be happy with.

7. Take a Time-Out: Sometimes tempers get heated and it’s just too difficult to continue a discussion without it becoming an argument or a fight. If you feel yourself or your partner starting to get too angry to be constructive, or showing some destructive communication patterns, it’s okay to take a break from the discussion until you both cool off. Sometimes good communication means knowing when to take a break.

8. Don’t Give Up: While taking a break from the discussion is sometimes a good idea, always come back to it. If you both approach the situation with a constructive attitude, mutual respect, and a willingness to see the other’s point of view or at least find a solution, you can make progress toward the goal of a resolution to the conflict. Unless it’s time to give up on the relationship, don’t give up on communication.

9. Ask For Help If You Need It: If one or both of you has trouble staying respectful during conflict, or if you’ve tried resolving conflict with your partner on your own and the situation just doesn’t seem to be improving, you might benefit from a few sessions with a therapist. Couples counseling or family therapy can provide help with altercations and teach skills to resolve future conflict. If your partner doesn’t want to go, you can still often benefit from going alone.

Tips:

Remember that the goal of effective communication skills should be mutual understanding and finding a solution that pleases both parties, not ‘winning’ the argument or ‘being right’.

This doesn’t work in every situation, but sometimes (if you’re having a conflict in a romantic relationship) it helps to hold hands or stay physically connected as you talk. This can remind you that you still care about each other and generally support one another.

Keep in mind that it’s important to remain respectful of the other person, even if you don’t like their actions.

Here's a list of common unhealthy ways to handle conflict. Do you do some of these? If so, your poor communication skills could be causing additional stress in your life.